Letter to Me: Happy New Year

Dear Me (and the rest of the world),

       Here comes the New Year. You’ll write resolutions with every good intention, and probably forget them a month later. How could I say something like that, you might ask? I hate to break it to you, dear, but that’s what has happened every year to this point.

       But it’s not going to happen this year, right? Of course right. We are laying down the law. You want to change, and it’s about time it happened.

       That’s not enough, though. It isn’t enough to say you’ll change, to write down those resolutions and tell everyone you’re committed to keeping them. You need to know how you will change, and most importantly you need to know why – why you should change, and why you can.

       See, that’s the important thing to know, the thing I want you to choose to believe. You can. You can do anything; the possibilities are completely limitless. You have let fears or insecurities get in the way before, and I’m here to tell you that’s over. I don’t care how likely it may seem that you can’t, or how many people say you can’t, YOU CAN - no matter what. From now on, the very moment you feel fears or insecurities or excuses rising up, I want you to squash them with those two words: I CAN. I promise you that will always be true, and you had better never forget it. That’s the first thing you need to know if you’re really going to change this New Year’s.

       The second thing you need to keep in mind is what you want most. There are always going to be a lot of things you want, and if you ever want to get anywhere you need to prioritize those wants. Do you want to be comfortable in your body, or do you want to eat two more donuts? Do you want to spend an hour on Pinterest, or spend an hour coming closer to your dreams? Do you want to have a relaxing, carefree night or do you want to finish your homework and get good grades? Maybe there isn’t always a right choice or a wrong choice, but there is almost always a better choice and a worse choice. Dedicate this year to choosing the better. Sometimes it’s hard to give up what you want now, but it’s worth it for what you want most. Remember, “Never give up what you want most for what you want today.” Remember, “What will it do for me? What will it do to me? What will I think of myself after?” When the going gets rough, remember why you keep going. Make the decision right now to always chase what you want most.

      Piggybacking on that thought, make time for what (and who) you love (thank you Becky!). There’s no reason to spend your life any other way.  Your goals for this new year should reflect only what you want most and what you love most. My brother (who has always been an extremely influential person in my life) once told me that to him, the word “want” means you are willing to do anything to get it. I don’t know if I believe that, but I do believe that when you love something or someone, you esteem it over everything else. Because of that, it should be a priority in your life. Drop everything else; if you are doing something that you don’t love and that isn’t bringing you closer to what you want most, you’re doing the wrong thing. Stop it. I think back to the stereotypical Romantic musician. They were usually associated with bad hygiene, a messy house, almost always a horrible hair-do. Why? Their music was most important to them – it was what they loved and what they wanted, and they let everything else fall away. And that’s why you know their names today. That doesn't mean you should stop showering in order to chase your passions, but it does mean you have a choice to make, and it should always be the one that gives you more time doing what you love.

       I’ve given you all of this information, helped you decide to believe all of these things, and now here’s the punch line: it’s your choice. It’s completely up to you how this new year turns out. If you want something from your life, take it. I dare you to. I dare you to make this year wild and bright and full of passion. I dare you to see the fireworks everywhere you go, spitting and crackling and waiting to soar. I dare you to set them free. I dare you to start going and never look back.

       Love, 

          Mikela

       My challenge to the rest of you is to write your own letter. Before the New Year hits, decide not what you’re going to change but how you’re going to change it and why, and be sure to let yourself know what you decide. It’s good to hear yourself say it.

Letter to the World #3 - On Discouragement

Dear World,

It's been a while, hasn't it? Life gets busy this time of year, and I run out of time for everything else. But I have been inspired, so I want to tell you about it.

You know those times when it seems like the universe is trying to tell you a message? When the same couple of words keeps popping up in your head, in songs and speeches you hear, in conversations with other people. Well, lately I think the universe has been censuring me on my attitude. To be honest, I think God is the one censuring me, but for all of you atheists out there, we'll call it the universe.

It started at the beginning of this month, during General Conference. General Conference is a thing my church does twice a year in which the leaders of the church give talks on all sorts of spiritual topics. It ends up being about ten hours all together, and it's something I look forward to every April and October. The talks are always completely incredible and moving, but this time I heard the best talk on gratitude that I have ever heard in my life. It's called "Grateful in Any Circumstances" by Dieter F. Uchtdorf. You can check it out in the link, but I'll sum it up for you. It talked about literally having an attitude of gratitude - not just being grateful for things, but being grateful in all circumstances. That concept was a little hard for me to wrap my head around, but once I finally did, it changed my life. It means being happy no matter what, constantly looking to God - or the universe, if that's what you like - in gratitude, joy, and humility. It means never, ever being discouraged.

The theme of never being discouraged continued popping up throughout my month. Just a few days ago, I was talking to a couple of friends, one of which has had what seems to me as an incredibly difficult year. Through everything, I have been impressed and moved by how he never complains and always has a positive attitude. The epitome of this occurred in our conversation in which he was encouraging another friend of mine who was feeling down, but couldn't tell us quite why. He was simply discouraged.

The first friend told the second that when he is feeling discouraged, he makes himself feel bad about it. "Who am I to be discouraged, when I have so much?" he asks himself.

In my mind, if anyone has the right to be discouraged, it's him. But I'm not sure anyone has the right. I'm rather convinced, in fact, that being discouraged is not a right at all. It is not a pleasure, a reward, something deserved because of trying circumstances. If anything it is a disguised punishment we willingly give ourselves when we are already at our weakest. And it is also a choice.
The climax of these occurrences of the message of never being discouraged in my life happened this morning during church. One of the speakers gave an entire talk on not becoming discouraged. He said the germ of discouragement is in us, not our circumstances. "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves." Our stars being our situations, fates, destinies, circumstances, trials. They are not what discourages us. We discourage ourselves by making the choice to allow it all to get to us, to focus on the negative, to see the half glass empty. The fault is in the one thing we can completely, absolutely control.

The climax of these occurrences of the message of never being discouraged in my life happened this morning during church. One of the speakers gave an entire talk on not becoming discouraged. He said the germ of discouragement is in us, not our circumstances. "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves." Our stars being our situations, fates, destinies, circumstances, trials. They are not what discourages us. We discourage ourselves by making the choice to allow it all to get to us, to focus on the negative, to see the half glass empty. The fault is in the one thing we can completely, absolutely control.

Isn't that relieving - isn't that encouraging? Discouragement is conquerable! It is not attached to misfortunes, it is not a side effect of being alive! It is within us, and it doesn't have to be! So there you go, world. You can be happy - and not just because I give you permission. Because that is your right, and it is something your are in full and complete power to give yourself, no matter your circumstances.
Sincerely,

Mikela

x

Letter to the World #2

Dear World,
     I am terribly sorry, but I'm going to have to be brief. I'm running short on time, just like you. But I wanted to write to you today anyway, because what I have to say is important. Although, it isn't exactly what I have to say, but what Reggie Dabbs had to say this morning. Reggie Dabbs is a motivational speaker and soprano saxophone player. He does a lot of work at schools and with football and other sports teams, and I have no doubt that he has saved lives. He came from a troubled childhood; he was given away by his mother because she slept with a man for twenty dollars to feed her other two children, and he was the result. Needless to say, he has overcome.
     He talked to my school this morning about bullying. I was horrified at what he had to say, but also motivated - I suppose I should have been, seeing as he was a motivational speaker. He told the story of three girls who had decided that they would bully whoever got out of the next car until he or she left school. The victim left a voice message on her mom's phone later that day crying, saying "Mom, they won't stop, they won't stop. I love you, Mom, I love you."
     After she hung up, she gave up the gift of life.
     One of the girls felt horrible about everything that had happened, and she got a year in juvy. The other two challenged the law, saying the law had no hold on them.
     They are serving twenty years in prison.
     Reggie told us that if words can inspire and help and lift, words can kill.
     He told us how he was bullied in his younger years, and how he stopped an act of bullying. He told us the heartbreaking story of three second graders; two boys who told a girl that she was the ugliest girl they had ever seen. They told her to please get off the bus and walk in front of a car to end their misery.
     She did.
     There are so many lessons I took from that assembly. I left the auditorium with new eyes, eyes that saw that there are things that I cannot see that are happening every day, every moment, terrible things that no one should ever have to go through. Reggie told us about football teams he had talked to who weren't succeeding on the field because they were constantly up against each other, tearing each other down. There are enough hard things that people have to go through without their peers making it harder. We already have to deal with the tackles and fumbles and missed touchdowns; we shouldn't have to endure jibes and jeers from our own team.
     Reggie told us that we should love people just because they are breathing, just because they are human. I believe that to my very core. Everyone is worth being loved, and everyone has gone through so much more than we can ever imagine. Reggie asked if we are part of the problem or the solution. Throughout my life, through literature or media or the voices of those around me, I have been told that there are two types of people, the wolves and the sheep. Or whichever analogy you want to use. I disagree with the wolf and sheep philosophy. I like how Scout from To Kill a Mockingbird put it: "I think there's just one kind of folks. Folks." But I do think that there are people in different types of situations. There are people who are in a situation in which they can help others, and in which they do help others. There are people who are in a situation in which they can hurt, and where they do hurt. These two types of situations, or lifestyles, more like, are active. You must decide one way or the other, and that's all that matters. Your choice, just like Reggie said, whether you will be the problem or the solution. I'll tell you a secret: We can all be whichever one we like. Whether it's by simply smiling, being a role model, and responding with kindness, or by saying a cruel word, being a negative influence, or doing nothing when the storm hits, and you can stop it. These tiny decisions we make throughout our daily lives determine things that are so much larger; the difference between life and death, the strength of a character, the potential of an individual. It is like turning a plane too far to the left by a single degree, and ending up in the wrong place by thousands of miles.
     There is a third situation, I think. There is a situation where people need help and are being harmed. This is a passive situation; it is not your fault if you are a victim. At one point, everyone is in this situation, and the way we react can determine which of the above to situations we end up in once we surface. But through this low, you have to remember that there is hope, and you will overcome. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, always a calm after a storm. And most of all, look for the people who are helping, because they are the hope. Did you hear that, helpers? You are the hope! And hope is one of the most powerful things in the world, one of the few things that are stronger than fear. Hope, and faith, and love.
     So I think I could revise the wolf and sheep philosophy to add a shepherd. There are sheep, there are wolves, and there are shepherds. It's inevitable that we will all, at one point or other, be a sheep, whether we are victim to the wolves or just the rocky terrain. And remember, too, that not only you, but everyone else, has once been a sheep; even the wolves. In fact, some of them are still only sheep in wolves' clothing. But once we recover, we decide whether we will be a shepherd or a wolf. I, for one, will be a shepherd.
     Keep on keeping on,
          Mikela

P. S. So much for brief :)

Letter to the World #1

Dear World,
   I understand you're having a few problems. Maybe that's an understatement.
   But don't worry, I think I can help. I'm sure you don't believe me, and I don't blame you either. After all, I'm not very significant, and I'm just a kid! But I believe me. Because I am a part of you, even if I am a very small part. And I believe every part can make a difference.
   So with this beginning of letters to you, I first want to let you know that there is hope, because I am not the only one. I am not the only one who believes in you and cares for you enough to try to save you. And even if a day comes that I am the only one, I will still be there; this I can promise. I will always be one. And as long as there is at least one, there is hope, because there are many cases in which one seems to be much, much more than only one.
   I would also like you to forgive me for times when I don't make any sense at all. It makes sense in my head.
   Thirdly, I want to let you know that I might not have the answers. I probably don't have any of them, but that is the beauty of it all. We are left to live in wonder. I can say, though, that I will try my best to stumble with you through this wild mystery and perhaps I can help you stay on your feet. At any rate, I hope I can bandage your scraped knees after you get back up again.
   Most importantly, I hope you will bear with me, because I'm sure many of these letters will be selfish. Much of the reason for me writing to you is because I believe, strongly. In God, in love, in life, in the worth of a soul, in the power of an individual, in the beauty of family, and in many, many more things. I write to tell you what I believe and perhaps convince you of it, and to make sure that the things I believe in don't disappear. Which might be selfish in a way. But I also desperately hope that it can change both you and me for the better.
   Much love,
      Mikela