Letter to the World #3 - On Discouragement

Dear World,

It's been a while, hasn't it? Life gets busy this time of year, and I run out of time for everything else. But I have been inspired, so I want to tell you about it.

You know those times when it seems like the universe is trying to tell you a message? When the same couple of words keeps popping up in your head, in songs and speeches you hear, in conversations with other people. Well, lately I think the universe has been censuring me on my attitude. To be honest, I think God is the one censuring me, but for all of you atheists out there, we'll call it the universe.

It started at the beginning of this month, during General Conference. General Conference is a thing my church does twice a year in which the leaders of the church give talks on all sorts of spiritual topics. It ends up being about ten hours all together, and it's something I look forward to every April and October. The talks are always completely incredible and moving, but this time I heard the best talk on gratitude that I have ever heard in my life. It's called "Grateful in Any Circumstances" by Dieter F. Uchtdorf. You can check it out in the link, but I'll sum it up for you. It talked about literally having an attitude of gratitude - not just being grateful for things, but being grateful in all circumstances. That concept was a little hard for me to wrap my head around, but once I finally did, it changed my life. It means being happy no matter what, constantly looking to God - or the universe, if that's what you like - in gratitude, joy, and humility. It means never, ever being discouraged.

The theme of never being discouraged continued popping up throughout my month. Just a few days ago, I was talking to a couple of friends, one of which has had what seems to me as an incredibly difficult year. Through everything, I have been impressed and moved by how he never complains and always has a positive attitude. The epitome of this occurred in our conversation in which he was encouraging another friend of mine who was feeling down, but couldn't tell us quite why. He was simply discouraged.

The first friend told the second that when he is feeling discouraged, he makes himself feel bad about it. "Who am I to be discouraged, when I have so much?" he asks himself.

In my mind, if anyone has the right to be discouraged, it's him. But I'm not sure anyone has the right. I'm rather convinced, in fact, that being discouraged is not a right at all. It is not a pleasure, a reward, something deserved because of trying circumstances. If anything it is a disguised punishment we willingly give ourselves when we are already at our weakest. And it is also a choice.
The climax of these occurrences of the message of never being discouraged in my life happened this morning during church. One of the speakers gave an entire talk on not becoming discouraged. He said the germ of discouragement is in us, not our circumstances. "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves." Our stars being our situations, fates, destinies, circumstances, trials. They are not what discourages us. We discourage ourselves by making the choice to allow it all to get to us, to focus on the negative, to see the half glass empty. The fault is in the one thing we can completely, absolutely control.

The climax of these occurrences of the message of never being discouraged in my life happened this morning during church. One of the speakers gave an entire talk on not becoming discouraged. He said the germ of discouragement is in us, not our circumstances. "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves." Our stars being our situations, fates, destinies, circumstances, trials. They are not what discourages us. We discourage ourselves by making the choice to allow it all to get to us, to focus on the negative, to see the half glass empty. The fault is in the one thing we can completely, absolutely control.

Isn't that relieving - isn't that encouraging? Discouragement is conquerable! It is not attached to misfortunes, it is not a side effect of being alive! It is within us, and it doesn't have to be! So there you go, world. You can be happy - and not just because I give you permission. Because that is your right, and it is something your are in full and complete power to give yourself, no matter your circumstances.
Sincerely,

Mikela

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Oops...

I didn't introduce myself. Sorry. My name is Mikela Marie. I love music - I play piano and harp, and I sing. My favorite song is "Drops of Jupiter" by Train, but my favorite artist is Coldplay. My favorite subject... that's a toss up between English and Science. Life sciences especially - not physical science. Please no. My favorite book? That's pretty much impossible. There are so many! I love The Scarlet Pimpernel, I love To Kill A Mockingbird, I love Jane Eyre, I love Edenbrooke, I love the Harry Potter series. Yes, I am a Harry Potter nerd. I guess I would have to go with that for my favorite book - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. But it is very, very close. My favorite color is a soft, minty blue. And we aren't talking about my favorite movie, because that's taking it too far. If I could go anywhere in the world, I would go to Italy. Venice, then Rome, then the rest of Europe - the Alps of Switzerland, Paris and the Eiffel Tower, the entirety of England, the red rock cliffs of Ireland, the castles of Germany and Romania. But what does all of that tell you about me? Not enough.

I was named Mikela after my father, Michael, who goes by Mike. Everyone says I have his eyes. My dad is one of my biggest heroes. I love the way he selflessly serves and loves, constantly giving his all to God and those around him. His faith and courage inspire me, and his outstanding character and integrity motivate me to be better. I love how he values hard work and how he knows how to let go of even good things for things that are better. When he married my mom twenty years ago, he promised he would never raise his voice to her. He has kept that promise. I love how he loves my mother.

After I was born, my parents realized that if you change the "l" in my name to a "c," my first and middle names together would become "Mike CaMarie." My mom, CaMarie, is my role model. She is the very essence of lovely. She serves endlessly and is always thoughtful and considerate, often doing something unexpectedly kind or going the extra mile. She believes in her own and everyone else's capacity to do great things, and she has an incredible ability to help others believe in it, too. My mom is also very goal driven, and she truly believes that anything is possible. From being the oldest daughter in a busy home to being the mother of ten children, she has retained a spirit of peace and love. I have been told that my laugh sounds just like hers.

Before they realized the fun twist to my name, my parents had given me my middle name after my great grandmother, Jenny Marie, who only ever went by Marie. I didn't know her as well as I would have liked, but I know she devotedly loved my great grandpa, and showed that same devotion to God. She, too, had a beautiful spirit of peace and love that followed her wherever she went. When I knew her, she was small and frail, humped over with soft pink sweater and a crown of silver hair. I remember getting a birthday card from her every year, even after she had a stroke and her handwriting went shaky. The envelope always read "Miss Mikela Marie Hoffman" in her beautiful cursive. She never missed the date, even though she had nearly one hundred great grandchildren and nine great great grandchildren before she died. She was my mom's favorite person, and my mom says that I look just like her when I smile.


These people are my role models, my heroes, my inspiration; they are a part of who I am and who I want to become. I am my father's daughter, I am my mother's daughter, I am my great grandmother's legacy. But most of all, I am me. I am someone who will stand in the rain and sometimes even dance, and someone who loves breakfast at midnight, because I am spontaneous and a bit of a romantic. I am someone who writes songs that don't make sense, and who strives to reach her full potential as a daughter of God. I am someone who will stand outside and stare up at the stars forever, even when it's cold. I am naïve and gullible, confident and happy. I laugh too loud and I speak too quietly and I sing in public, maybe too often. I am a night owl who loves mornings, a musician, a writer, a Christian, a sister. I am red on white. On odd days I dream of being accepted to Juilliard, performing on Broadway, changing the world, and on even days I dream of living in a cottage in the country, teaching harp lessons, writing novels, and being a stay-at-home mom. I could go on talking about my quirks and qualities forever, because there are so very many. But I think I would be better defined by what I believe.


So what do I believe? I believe in God, and I believe in miracles. I believe in life after death and life before birth, and all of the life in between. I believe in second chances, and true love, and forgiveness. I am someone who cannot be offended or insulted, because I believe myself to be good. I believe that everything and everyone can return to virtue, no matter how lost and wasted they may seem, or how lost and forgotten that word is today. I believe in magic, the sort we see at Christmas and in a first kiss, in new snowflakes and new life. I am gullible because I believe that I can trust others, and I believe in the extraordinary. And very most of all, I believe the world to be a beautiful place.


Fifty years after I am gone, I doubt anyone will remember me. But if I am remembered at all, if I have made any sort of imprint on this world, I hope I am remembered as the girl who believed.

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